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Smudging Your House: How To Clear Old Negative Energy and Invite New Positive Energy


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Note: This article first appeared on Medium. Please follow me!

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to clear the negative energy from 2022 from my body, family, and house. It’s been one hell of a year where we all got sucker punched! I’m glad the year is over and praying this year won’t be so intense with life-altering events.

An ancient process called smudging clarifies old energy and invites new positive energy. Although studies on the health effects of smudging are lacking, I found one study that validated that natural smoke products have some benefits.

“wood and a mixture of odoriferous and medicinal herb on aerial bacterial population caused over 94% reduction of bacterial counts in one hour (60 minutes), and the air remained disinfected and clear for up to 24 hours. “

There is no doubt that medicinal herbs promote healing; however, some studies referenced in other articles on the health effects of smudging referenced the healing properties, but if you read the studies, they site the herbs were ingested in some form, such as a tea or capsule versus burned. I am pointing this out for transparency reasons, as the two are different.

On the other hand, sometimes we need to have faith that the ancient Elders and Spiritual Leaders of the First Nation people knew what they were doing by burning herbs to purify, clear negative energy, and bless a space.

Photo by Los Muertos Crew from Pexels

Burning Sage

Smudging is a tradition that is common to First Nations tribes. It involves one or several medicinal herbs, including woods and resins gathered from the earth. The four most common sacred herbs used in First Nation ceremonies are tobacco, sage, cedar, and sweetgrass.

The most popular plant used for smudging is sage. Sage is known for clearing out negative energy and purifying people and spaces. However, it’s important to note that white sage, the most popular herb in First Nation tribal ceremonies, has been over-harvested in the west, southwest, and Mexico.

The popularity of white sage is in high demand by non-First Nation people internationally. Because I don’t want to support or encourage this sacred plant’s continued over-harvesting and/or poaching, I don’t use white sage. An alternative is Mediterranean sage, also known as common garden sage. The chemical properties between the two plants are similar and will still do what we ask the plant for energy to do. Purify and clear our space.

Other commonly known herbs are not always connected to smudging but offer the same energetic properties — herbs such as rosemary, lavender, and Palo Santo wood. I’ll share a list of herbs and spices that you can burn.

Photo by Emily Bauman on Unsplash

Purpose of Smudging a House

Smudging is a great practice that can substantially impact your physical, spiritual, and mental health. It reduces illness and helps promote mental clarity while reducing anxiety and stress.

Regular smudging can also help lift your mood and leave you feeling lighter, more positive, and more connected to yourself and those around you.

According to the Smudging Protocol and Guidelines published for School District №58 in British Columbia, Canada, their Elders/Spiritual Leader’s rationale for the cleansing process is as follows:

We smudge to clear the air around us.

We smudge to clean our minds so that we can have good thought of others.

We smudge our ears so that we will only listen to positive things about others.

We smudge our whole being so we can portray only the good part of ourselves through our actions.

We smudge to cleanse negative energy within our own being or any negative energy in a space.

The smudging ceremony allows people to stop, slow down, be present, and be mindful so they can ground themselves, reconnect with themselves so they can, focus, let go, and rebalance their energy.

How To Smudge Your Home Or Space

Smudge Stick or Loose Leaf? Smudging your home or space is essential for creating a sacred and peaceful area. It’s a widespread practice in spiritual circles, and with good reason — the smudging prayer combined with burning herbs or smoldering smudge sticks can help bind us to a higher power while realigning our energy.

To start smudging your living space, add a loose-leaf herbal blend or smudge stick to a heat-proof bowl and allow it to smoke.

I prefer using loose-leaf herbs that sit on top of a charcoal disk. These disks are orderless and chemical-free and will allow your herbs to smolder longer rather than creating a small fire in a bowl. In addition, you can control the amount of herbs you want to burn versus a smudge stick that may continue to burn after your smudging is done. I find this wasteful.

If using a loose-leaf herbal blend, place the disk in an incense burner, light it, and let it smoke for a few minutes before sprinkling herbs on top.

I like to use a small cast iron burner with a lid. That way, I can walk through rooms without worrying about burning embers flying out and causing a fire. For other containers, such as a seashell, be careful. Heat can crack the shell and cause a fire. Safety first when smudging!!

When smudging a room, some ancient traditions recommend circularly moving the smoldering bowl and saying your prayer as you move through your space. Feather fans are also used to help the smoke penetrate through the room.

Remember to smudge entry doors into your home (e.g., front and back doors), hallways, kitchens, bathrooms, bedrooms, and walk-in closets. These are all spaces that can trap negative energy.

Photo by Vero Manrique on Unsplash

Smudging House Blessing

Kiera Fogg’s book Sacred Herb Bundles For Energy Cleansing explains that you should also say a prayer or blessing when smudging your home.

“A sacred prayer is a call to the Universe designed to accompany your ritual and reflect the specific intentions you have set.”

So ask yourself, what is your purpose for burning herbs? If you want to say a prayer or blessing, Kiera recommends you say it at a minimum once while smudging and several times throughout your day after you are done.

Here are some of her examples from her book.

Invoking Miracles

“Thank you for the miracles, all in your perfect ways and all in your perfect timing.”

Receiving Divine Abundance

“Thank you for the divine health, wealth, and abundance that flows to me in all ways.”

Releasing Unhealthy Attachments

“I fully and freely release that which no longer serves me. All is well.”

Self-worth

“I choose to release the opinions of others. It bears no weight on my self-worth.”

Physical Health

“I love my body, and my body loves me in return.”

Self-expression

“God speaks through me.”

If none of these prayers or blessings resonate, then you can write your own prayer. Kiera suggests the following when writing your prayer or blessing:

1. Set a clear intention. What specific outcomes do you wish to manifest?

2. Decide on two or three keywords related to your intention.

3. Write one or two sentences that succinctly reflect your desired outcome. This statement should be made with gratitude as if it has already occurred.

Photo by Nia Ramirez on Unsplash

Alternatives to White Sage For Smudging

First Nations have certain herbs that are considered sacred herbs for their ceremonies- herbs such as sage, cedar, sweetgrass, juniper, and lavender. These herbs, in particular, release bad energy from the space home and invite new energy.

However, don’t be limited to those previously mentioned sacred herbs. There are thousands of herbs and herbal blends that you can make or purchase. I’ve used the following blend, peppermint, rosemary, thyme, olive leaves, and rose petals. I’ve also used Palo Santo wood as a single herb.

Here are some medicinal herbs, flowers, and spices that have a pleasant fragrance and powerful metaphysical properties and are appropriate for smudging. (Sourced from Sacred Herb Bundles For Energy Cleansing pg. 27)

Apple — Love, beauty, wisdom

Chamomile — Peace, purification, protection

Lotus Flower — Rebirth, fortitude divinity

Basil — Health, happiness, protection

Clover — Faith, hope prosperity

Lemon — Purification, protection, energy boost

Rosemary — Focus, mental clarity, health

Cinnamon — Love, success, prosperity

Lavender — Love, relaxation, serenity

Dill — Luck, romance, prosperity

Eucalyptus — Health, purification, protection

Ginger — Passion, progress, prosperity

Hibiscus — Passion, femininity, creativity

Peppermint — Prosperity, growth, renewal

Palo Santo — Stress release, protection, good fortune

Rose — Love, happiness, friendship

Sage — Purification, protection, wisdom

Sweetgrass — Peace, purification, positive energy

Vanilla — Love, peace, good fortune

Yarrow — Courage, wisdom, protection

If you’re looking for a way to clear the energy in your space, invite positive energy, and offer a blessing or prayer. Smudging may be for you. This ancient practice has been used for centuries to purify one’s home or space many benefits come along with it. After smudging, people often report feeling better, lighter, more positive, and more connected.

If you want to learn more about smudging, I recommend two books on the topic that I have found helpful in making my own blends for burning.

Sacred Herb Bundles For Energy Cleansing: Your Guide to a Powerful Healing Practice to Purify, Bless and Inspire by Kiera Fogg (2019)

The Healing Power of Smudging: Cleansing Rituals to Purify Your Home, Attract Positive Energy, and Bring Peace into Your Life, by Rodika Tchi (2017)

Have you tried smudging before? What benefits have you noticed? Let me know in the comments.

Note: links included in this article are affiliate links

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I Hate Organizing Day!

 

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Isn’t there a game yooou need to watch? Or doesn’t your toothpick collection need organizing? I said to my husband as he declares “tomorrow, we’re cleaning the basement!” I suddenly feel like a kid. Tears are welling up in my eyes, and a meltdown is about to happen at the mere thought of having to spend a day in the BASEMENT! NOOO!

To hide my repulsion, I quickly turn leaving the room and hear him call after me “And you’re not getting out of it this time! It has to be done; it’s a mess down there.” I moan as I slip out of site avoiding anymore discussion on the matter.

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The Organizing Craze:

Have you heard about Marie Kondo? She’s all the rage in organizing one’s life these days. I’ve never watched her show or read her books, but I saw her interviewed on Steven Colbert – and I’m wondering if she’s too good to be true. I have some questions for her. Has she road tested her own advice on her family?

I want to know what her background is? Is she lived enough to accumulate a house full of family’s life?

Is she living with anyone? Does she know, they come with stuff she may or not like?

Does she have kids? Does she know they come with stuff too? – Lots of stuff! And the more she has the more stuff there is!

Has she taken care of several elderly or disabled family members in her home? Those elderly relatives come with decades of stuff.

How many relatives belongings has she inherited over the years that never lived with her and feel somewhat obligated to keep their stuff out of respect?

I chuckle at her style of discarding. I want to ask her this…forget about whether an item brings me “joy” what do I do if ditching the stuff it could cause a World War III?

I’ve already experienced the anger of a family member when they found out I didn’t keep their prized item(s) after they so graciously gave them to me. Yes, I am grateful they thought of me. I did use them a few times, but honestly, I needed the room and a decision had to be made. So now I just lie about whether I have it or not.

My point is, Marie’s popularity isn’t helping my life at the moment. Even my husband knows who she is – and is a fan! My issue is getting rid of stuff can be a little more complicated when it’s not (or wasn’t) your stuff in the first place. It’s not as easy as she makes it seem. And what does one do if its the other person’s stuff you would rather see go than your own?

Since my husband and I married 25 years ago, every damn quarter, hubby gets this purging itch. Honest to God! Sometimes, he makes me crazy with his frequent purging’s. Besides, we’ve had this ongoing debate on the definition of what organized looks like and at this point I’m done with his version.

Yes, he’s right, our home needs frequent organizing. It’s a fact of life around here. Those of you who have a home-based business, or hobby(s), understand it can take over the whole house if not properly managed. I get it.

In our case, we have extras to deal with. We have a child with a severe disability, and there are medical supplies and equipment to keep track of. Add in a nurse with her own style of organizing (and yes, she comes with stuff too!). Plus our regular life stuff, like sporting activities we enjoy, (equipment, special shoes, clothes, helmets, accessories, etc.) and before long, things are out of control. Where do you put it all?

During the fair/craft show season, our basement ends up being the dump site for my products and supplies when I need to reclaim the living space quickly.

And, yes, if I can, I avoid or delay “organizing day” as much as possible – I will! I hate cleaning and organizing – yes, I admit it freely. I’d rather weed an overgrown flowerbed than face any dump site in my home. Especially the basement!

 

 

Opposite Points of View:

If you ask my husband if I’m organized, he’ll paint an extremely exaggerated picture of a hoarder that’s buried alive by her “stuff.” He sees little value in family heirlooms, antiques or a personal library of books and “periodicals” (aka magazines/catalogs).

I admit, my “library” is housed in the entire house, on every floor in just about every room (yes, I’m working on consolidating…) To him its all clutter. But if you ask me for something, I know where almost everything is, or at least the room I zoned for that category, and I can retrieve it fairly quickly. I call it “loosely” organized.

If you ask me if my husband is organized. I’ll laugh and tell you there is a whole lot of work to be done. What he considers treasure, I think trash. He loves to collect his “trophies” which are useless trinkets of his present and past stuffed in closets, boxes, drawers, corners of rooms, basement, or garage.

Things like large rubber bugs, a set of boob implants (don’t ask…), miscellaneous 40-year-old yellowed hand typed papers from a job he once had. Ugly as hell faded old pictures that previously hung in his office for decades, old ticket stubs, statutes, and strange pictures of various people.

He’s got a home video collection of sporting events that can be found on a classic sports channel or Youtube at any time. He’s never watched them since he taped them. Why do we need our own crappy copy? I ask him. The best part is if you ask him what or where something is, I’m not sure he could remember he has it, or where to find it.

 

Our Organizational Styles:

In previous cleanings, I’ve left him standing in the mess, angry and frustrated because I felt he was making a bigger mess than what we started with. My point has always been his idea of “organized” was making more work for me in the end.

My Style: I prefer things grouped in “like” categories. Everything has its own permanent place. I want segregated identified space for my business equipment/supplies, our food, and our daughter’s medical supplies etc.

For example, a shelving unit for all my kitchen equipment. Things like oversized pots. Electric skillets, mixers, large commercial containers, oversized cookie sheets, and cast iron Dutch ovens, canning jars, etc.

I like things in boxes labeled with the list of items on the outside. I also want to use vertical space to hang things from hooks and nails so when I’m looking for something I can freaking find it!

His Style: Throw everything in a bag or box then toss it in a closet, drawer, any shelf, garage, including the rafters, shed or under a bed or couch. Its the PFS way – the Perpetual Find System – out of sight out of mind – therefore organized. The reality is nothing gets organized or purged and hours are wasted looking for that one thing I need.

What really makes me crazy is when I decide to toss (or donate) something, I find it months later in a bag or box in the garage. It never made it out of the house! AHHHH! Why did I clean in the first place when it was only moved from one spot to another! And that my friends is our organizing dilemma.

I warned my daughter’s nurse she may come to work on Monday with me still locked in the basement clawing at the door like a crazed cat howling. Please recuse me. But be warned there may be a body down there with me.

She’s on my side (if there is a side to be on…) she’s worked here long enough and experienced “PFS Operation Organize Day!”

One year he organized her supplies and messed up her counting and product expiration system. OMG! That wasn’t pretty – that was years ago, and I’m still hearing about it! Message receive LOUD AND CLEAR! Don’t mess with the nurse’s supplies!

Her parting words out the door on Friday, chuckling of course, (I’m sure she’s thanking God she off for the weekend), “Good luck you two! And don’t touch my supplies!”

Our Solution:

It’s not that I don’t agree we need to get organized – it’s essential for a healthy life and, like my husband, I hate living in clutter too. Its how we find the right space for the supplies is the problem. How do we find the middle ground to make it work? Blowing up a room and starting over, in my opinion, makes the job much more difficult and stressful than it needs to be.

When it comes to my business and kitchen stuff – it’s now organized by my rules period. I’m done hunting for my stuff. When I say throw something out I mean toss (donate) whatever, but it has to physically leave the house in a timely manner!

I insist things be categorized by “like” things. Kitchen stuff will remain separated from my business supplies. Medical supplies will be separated from food etc. My stuff will not be mixed together on shelves, closets or packed off to the shed.

Once a spot has been designated for a grouping, it stays that way. No more moving things around and changing locations every time we organize, unless it makes sense to move it.

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Making Decisions – Keep or Toss:

I don’t have a problem getting rid of stuff. I’ll frequently walk through the house looking around asking myself…have I used or worn this in the last year or two? Do I need this to further my business/life in the future and make a mental note?

Once I’ve made a decision, I can quickly go through a room and say keep, toss, donate; which sometimes freaks my husband (and nurse) out because it appears I’m making a hasty decision.

For me, its pretty cut and dry by that time. If I’m not ready to get rid of it because of sentimental reasons (or fear a backlash from a family member); or I think I’ll need it at some point. Then it stays for another year and I’ll re-evaluate the next time we organize.

Yes, I’ve tossed things I’ve regretted and had to replace them, and I’m okay with that. I think its better to replace something than hang on to that “thing” for fear I may need it someday and never do.

For this organizing session, I’m reviewing some of the family heirlooms. Is it time to let them go? I have 5 sets of fine china. One set was wedding china from an old relationship over 35 years ago. Its never been used and never will be. The rest I inherited.

I once had a dream of opening a tea house, or have garden tea parties in our backyard or even open a bed and breakfast. I planned to use those beautiful dishes.

Well, to be honest, life has a funny way of happening, and those dreams evaporated long ago. So this year, (regardless of family feelings), I think it’s time to eliminate some of the china and downsize the dishes. I kept the 2 prettiest sets and got rid of the rest.

I also decided to ditch my everyday plates and replace them with one of the two sets I kept. Auntie Max’s pretty rose china won the upgrade to the kitchen. What the hell right? I might as well use them. As long as no one puts them in the microwave, they should survive for a while.

By the way, never put good china in the microwave. It cracks the glaze and plates. Washing them in the dishwasher seems to be ok, but I won’t be surprised if the gold trim eventually gets worn off.

The other set is Grandma Davis’s flower china. It’s a pretty set. It has a creamy off white, yellowish color with little pink and blue flowers with gold trim. I’m proud to say I’m the 3rd generation to receive them. Many years ago, I suggested my Mother give her wedding china to someone else and that I’d take Grandma’s china. She was a bit surprised and said it wasn’t worth anything. Why would I want them? I replied, they have value to me, and I’m thrilled to have them.

So, Grandma’s china stays on its special shelf in the basement where they’ve been for the last 25 years. The plan is when Auntie Max’s china gets broken I’ll dig Grandma’s out and use them. I might as well enjoy using my stuff and not feel guilty if things get chipped or broken.

Besides, part of living a healthy life is creating moments of happiness. Happiness doesn’t happen in a vacuum you have to make it happen. Small things like eating a meal on a pretty dish can really make the difference. It just makes me happy.

 

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We Survive:

And so on the eve of another major snowstorm here in New England, we were able to relax by a beautiful crackling fire after emerging from the basement intact – happy, kissing and hugging each other in triumph we survived another purging without bloodshed or tears.

No, things aren’t perfect by my husband’s standards. But things are organized enough that he says he’s not overwhelmed and doesn’t feel like he’s buried alive (he’s such a Drama Queen…).

I’m satisfied I can find my supplies by scanning boxes on shelves and seeing what I need fairly quickly.

My dried herbs are in glass jars properly labeled, neatly organized by groups. My bottles of essential oils are grouped alphabetically (that was a huge and significant project!) And my extra packaging supplies are in boxes and labeled accurately.

I’m ready for the new season! Everything has a place and marked. Yes, I’m grateful for my husband’s help and couldn’t have done it without him. Thank you Sweetie – you are the best! I love you!

 

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But Not Done:

There is still a great deal more purging/downsizing to be done. There is a spare room that has boxes with thousands of pictures that need to be sorted and either scanned onto a computer or tossed.

Then there is all those drawers and closets filled with my husbands hidden “treasures” that needs addressing. I’ve mentioned to him more than once its TIME to deal with your stuff instead of just focusing on mine. The rubber bugs and boobs implants really need to go!

But I’ll leave that to him and him alone to deal with. The last thing I want to do is organize someone else’s crap when I still have plenty of my own, plus our daughter’s to deal with.

Those sets of china I inherited also came with the previous owners family pictures…I cringe at the thought of more organizing….but someone has to sort them and decide to keep or toss. I’m the designated family historian, and eventually, a book will be written on our family history. My goal is to create a digital filing system (or library) so I can retrieve information more efficiently and ditch the physical picture or paper.

Another Day Is On the Horizon:

I’m safe for now, but I know another organizing day is in my near future. I see my husband eyeing the greenhouse, and his fingers are starting twitch. He can’t help himself. Ugh! Maybe I should rent him out? Anyone? This organizing stuff never ends…I think I see another flowerbed that needs weeding…

I’m curious, do you think Marie Kondo will still appear to have everything all neat and tidy in her life in 25 – 30 years?…

Organizational Resources:

If you’re interested (or must face) your own Organizing Day, here are some great organizing books I found helpful over the years. I own these books (or at least used to – maybe one or two may have been purged from my library) in any event, I highly recommend them.

Purchased but haven’t read yet…

Please note: these books are affiliate links to Amazon. I participate in their affiliate program and earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you decide to purchase the books using these links.

Update: 2 trips to the donation center have been made so far, and hubby tells me he as a few more car loads to go! And a dump run is being discussed for the rest. YeeHaw! We’re making progress!

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Every Day Shortcuts to Eat to Your Health

 

Cooking a healthy meal can be a full-time job for any parent. Between planning and organizing, it takes a lot of effort to stay on track. That’s why I have a few hacks on hand to quickly improve the nutrient density in meals.

Quinoa:

Quinoa is a great cook ahead that can be sprinkled onto a salad for an exotic addition of protein. It absorbs flavors so you can pair it with any dressing and it will taste great. Quinoa is also a great way to cut back on rice. For recipes that call for rice, try replacing ½ of the amount with quinoa. You will hardly see the difference yet you will improve your nutrition by adding fiber and lowering your glycemic index. Quinoa is a good source of minerals such as folate, iron, zinc, and magnesium.  It also contains all the essential amino acids, giving it a high score for a good source of protein.  Beware though, it is still a grain and too much of it can be “too much of a good thing”.

Frozen Spinach:

Rich in iron and really flavorful, this makes a great addition to the kids’ mac and cheese. They simply LOVE it.  Recently I have started experimenting with combining it with cauliflower rice. I sauteed a chopped onion or leek for about 5 minutes, then add the riced cauliflower (2 bags frozen) for another 5 minutes, sprinkle some dill or use fresh if you have, add salt and pepper. After it caramelizes add a bag of frozen spinach and cook for about another 10 minutes. Serve with a dollop of Greek yogurt or some feta and you have a low carb, Greek spanakopita inspired delicious and quick alternative. Spinach is a quick add on to rice, quinoa rice or even sautéed as a side dish. Power up!

Mushrooms:

Mushrooms act as a major immunity booster that can help the body fight illness as well as several types of cancers. It is recommended that you have a little daily. But who can keep up? Try freezing your mushrooms for easy access to omelets, and sautéed meals. Sautée some with onion and keep in the fridge as a sandwich or salad topper.  Consider making mushroom burgers. They are easy, quick and very filling.

Chickpeas:

These are really misunderstood in my opinion because they are usually eaten out of a can. Try soaking a bag overnight and then giving them a quick boil until soft. No spices needed! After they are softened you can eat them plain -so sweet!- or add them to any salad. Keep in the fridge for an easy add on! You can also throw them in the blender with lemon juice and olive oil for a nice hummus.

Cut Fruit:

The best way to increase your fruit intake is to keep it easily accessible. Take a few minutes to cut fruit and keep it in the fridge. It will more likely be your next snack or meal. My favorites for this are watermelon and honeydew. Another great trick is to load up on berries. They have a very short shelf life so eating them will be a priority.

Chia Seeds:

This superfood can be added to any snack to boost fiber and omega 3’s along with antioxidants. Who doesn’t want that in a bowl of cereal, instantly? Consider adding to your yogurt, toasted bread,  and even ice cream.

Broccoli:

This is my go to side dish when I need that extra something to add to a meal. If I am baking dinner it can go straight into a baking dish with some EVOO. If not I can easily steam it and cleanup is a cinch. A major player in the cruciferous family, it is rich in everything, good for you and delicious.  Always keep on hand.

Setting up for success with easy cheats makes up a big component of healthy eating. Now that the kids are helping themselves to snacks it’s even more important to have these easily accessible and at the front of the fridge.

CoachTheresaWV  is a MOM and Health Coach whose goal is to help people harness their inner voice through self-care. She believes in lifestyle habits that include fitness and clean living and is sustainable for long-term health results. Follow her at https://www.facebook.com/trainandtransformyourlife/ or email her at CoachTheresaWV@gmail.com for a free consultation.

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“Just Take That Darned Shower!”: Essential Steps to Activating Energy to Get Moving

take a shower

I have always been a procrastinator. As a new mom, though, I took procrastination to a whole new level. Had I not procrastinated that too? I could have coined my own term for it. It’s in our nature to procrastinate, sure, but the solution may just lie in finding your particular spark.

As a new mom, I found myself often swimming in a sea of laundry and dishes, unable to keep a schedule because I was so sleepy most of the time. The flexibility required of motherhood had overrun my sense of structure and accomplishment. It felt hard to plan or complete anything. My husband would come home from work and ask me how my day was and I would stare blankly at the blur before me, grasping for something intelligible to say.

My sense of failure was magnified by the fact that I was never able to make those 8:00 a.m. mommy-and-me classes with friends. I would arrive late and disheveled at the 11:15 a.m. pool or music class and still, miss all the pre-class chatter and much needed social life. Invariably on the drive home, with first born loudly protesting in the back seat, I would find myself driving past that mom with the cute bright smile and the jogger- jogging of course, with snoozing baby in tow.

While the other moms seemed relaxed and put together, I felt a complete mess. It seemed my former punctual and organized self-was left behind in labor and delivery. My key problem? Overwhelm.

My 90+ lb pregnancy weight gain literally weighed me down even with half of it gone. Everything just felt harder. I just could not believe my loss of control and felt helpless to get out. I found my solution in an at-home workout program I had purchased for my husband – sitting on a shelf, unopened. Instead of finding time to go somewhere to workout I only needed to pop in a DVD. Yet, that too was hard.

When it came to workouts my best excuse was the shower; by the time I COULD workout, I felt too sticky and icky with baby spit up and cooking smells (and too sleepy!) to actually take that time for myself. My conundrum? The shower. Save it for AFTER the workout and I felt miserable instead of engaged. Take a shower BEFORE, well THAT’s silly – or, is it?

All I wanted to do was regain some measure of control, and of course, my body. My weight gain and fatigue were interfering with everything I had wanted parenting to be. Sure I was delighted to be a mom. It wasn’t something that came easily for me, having lost 2 babies before my first – I was grateful. I am grateful. I just didn’t feel good. And when you don’t feel good it’s hard to change things – especially since change often necessitates more discomfort. But that shower? That feels good. Aaaaaah! But was I just procrastinating again?

Change is painful, it’s not a new discovery. Neither is the fact that we are hardwired to want to avoid discomfort. It’s a survival tool.

So how do we combat that resistance to taking action? For me, it began with writing down a few things. I made a list of how I was feeling. Then I made a list of what I wanted. The last list was the hardest. I had to identify my obstacles: both real and imagined. My big one was not feeling good in my own skin.

I wanted to lose weight. I feared I had squandered my opportunity to be fit before motherhood because I was never previously into fitness. I feared failure. I wanted to be healthy for me and for that desire that burns a parent: to be around forever, for their kids.

I wanted to regain a sense of control and direction yet wanted to maintain the flexibility to meet my infant’s needs at home.

I NEEDED A SHOWER. But the sink was full of dishes, the baby was sleeping and the floor, oh the floors! I needed to get a nap or a workout or eat but felt stinky and unmotivated. Would my exercise wake the baby? What if I didn’t finish the workout in time? What if I didn’t get the shower OR a completed workout? Would that constitute failure?

For me, the shower was at the core of sparking any action. A shower can wake me or get me sleepy. The feeling I get from a shower is like no other. I truly L O V E my showers.

So I made my shower a MUST. It’s what I knew was missing the most. I self-negotiated out my hair for after workout showers only and resolved to have more ponytails. This helped me keep any pre-workout shower super brief AND enjoy myself more. It also became more of a game that involved self-nurturing. As time went by I was able to complete more workouts and stay caught up with my beloved shower. I started feeling successful. It became a game to find ways to get the workout in. I remember doing 90-minute yoga at 10:30 pm because that’s when it worked yet I enjoyed every minute of it. Soon, the shower stopped being such an obstacle. I needed fewer and fewer pre-workout showers because I was filling that need!

Once I started regaining control of the things that were important to me, and consistently activating my spark, the rest began to follow. I dropped a lot of weight and had an amazing transformation and also reached a never-before-imagined-for-me fitness level.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned is to take that darn shower. Don’t mope around with your obstacles- real or imagined. Identify them and creatively mitigate or get rid of them. That alone is action that sets you in motion towards your goal.

My other favorite tool was borrowing the Nike slogan JustDoIt. It provides me with an instant spark. If you are running circles around your goal and avoiding your target, stop yourself and “just do it”. We must not only be the nurturing parent for ourselves but also the disciplinarian.

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Some other helpful techniques:                

Recognize that you want change. If you consider your “problem” unchangeable, you are less likely to take action to change it. If I accepted my weight gain as something that happens to mothers my age – I almost did by the way- you are less likely to change it.

Once you’ve identified your outcome, break it down into little steps necessary to accomplish it. Set monthly, weekly and daily goals. Make those tasks on your calendar and follow through. Checking them off provides instant feedback and propels you forward.

Recognize hesitation. If you are putting off what you intended to do, be that parent for yourself. You wouldn’t dream of allowing your child to go to bed without brushing their teeth. Same. Keep yourself accountable.

Reflect: Did you get “XYZ” done today? Was it a good day? Can you do better tomorrow? Are you on track? Yay! Celebrate your own victory! You are doing it!

Tell someone about your goal. Doing this allows you to actually hear it, own it and in a way set yourself accountable.

Seek out situations that will help further your goal. This could be meetings with friends, a lecture, an app, a group of like-minded people, or a book. This also reinforces your intention and further propels you forward.

Focus on what you want instead of negative feelings. Get rid of distractions and DO things you know from your moment of clarity that you need to do. For me, my daily excuses seemed to revolve around my beloved shower. If you are like me, I say, just take that darned shower, enjoy that nice smelling soap, even if you work out right after. You will feel great and be one more step closer to accomplishing your goal. Go ahead, take that darned shower and get to the real business at hand.

I’m off to take mine.

Theresa

CoachTheresaWV is a Health Advocate and Fitness Coach whose goal is to help people harness their inner voice through self care. She believes in lifestyle habits that include fitness and clean living and are sustainable for long-term health results. As a coach she helps individuals reach their specific goals by adapting health principles to their everyday life. A mom of 2, Coach Theresa does this for her children as well as a growing online and community following, helping people reach health and fitness goals one day at a time. Follow her at https://www.facebook.com/trainandtransformyourlife/ or email her at CoachTheresaWV@gmail.com for a free consultation.

 

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Home Spa Day – Avocado and Olive Oil Hair Treatment

Winter is a time for me to regroup, do research and experiment with new ideas.  This winter is no exception.  Since the first of the year, I’ve been testing all kind of things for possible new product lines and launching new projects (this blog is one of those projects!).

The biggest project is the renovation and conversion of my green house into a commercial aquaponic operation.  I’ve hired a start up company call Fresh Farm Aquaponics  to install the system and teach me how to use it.  More on them and the new system in upcoming posts.

My other projects include expanding my all natural herbal soap line and developing a new specialty line of spa soaps using minerals from around the world.  I’m really excited about my new line and will be rolling that out soon.  Finally, with the help of my friend Elyse, we are busy testing and developing recipes using micro greens, herbs and other produce that I grown here on the farm with the hopes of publishing a cookbook in the coming year.  Just make me another pot of coffee please, I need something to keep me afloat….AHHH!

 

Giada De Laurentiis

I recently purchased Giada De Laurentiis’ newest cookbook “Giada Feel Good: My healthy recipes and secrets”  While looking through her cookbook, I came across the section about hair (page 198).  She talks about home natural beauty treatments for her dry hair.  She discusses several of her treatments but one caught my eye and I had to give it a try…on my daughter.

For those of you that don’t know, my daughter Katie has severe Cerebral Palsy.  She suffered a stroke the last few weeks of our pregnancy and no one knew it until 3 months later when her Pediatrician, on a hunch that something wasn’t right, referred us to a specialist for an evaluation – our world was changed forever.  Needless to say, the news that our beautiful daughter had significant brain damage was devastating for our family.

She is now seventeen years old and years of harsh medications and several major surgeries have taken their toll on her body.  Katie is currently on a cocktail of seizure drugs and a few other medications for other organ problems and it’s affecting her hair.  Her hair is dry as a bone and she has serious split ends.  One drug side effect makes her hair thin out, which is a problem.  So when I saw Giada’s home recipes for dry hair I got excited and knew I had to try it on my Katie!

 

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Just two ingredients are needed – 1 small avocado and a 1/4 to 1/2 cup of olive oil.  Since Katie’s hair was so dry, I used 1/2 cup.

 

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I cut the avocado into pieces, added the olive oil into my blender…

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I blended it into a nice green paste.  It will be thick and I thought about adding more oil (or water) to thin it out but decided not to.  I didn’t want to change anything and follow Giada’s recipe as written in her book.

 

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I started on the top of Katie’s head and scalp and worked it in all the way to the ends of her hair using the entire mixture.

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Giada then puts a shower cap over her hair and leaves it in for 10 – 20 minutes.  I didn’t have a shower cap so I used plastic wrap instead – worked like a charm.  She also states that you may need to wash your hair more than once to get all the oil and avocado residue out.

So I set the timer for 10 minutes, put Katie in the bath tub and gave her a bath.  After 10 minutes, I rinsed and washed her hair like I normally do, including adding conditioner.  I was surprised only 1 washing was needed – that told me Katie’s hair was really dry and absorbed all those good nutrients.   After the final rinse, I could tell right away Katie’s hair FELT softer and healthier. I was getting excited but still needed to hold my enthusiasm for the final test – combing out her hair (her hair is always full of tangles) and seeing how it felt when dry.  Would it feel greasy because I didn’t wash all the oily residue out?

 

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A few hours later, her hair was dry and what a difference!  It felt so soft, it felt moisturized and healthy and what a shine!  I also noticed her split ends looked pretty good.

Katie before after

Here is the before and after pictures – the lighting isn’t exactly the same but either way you can definitely see a difference.  Even combing her hair out a day later was easier and tangles were easier to manage than before.

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I give this natural home spa treatment my highest rating – Three Happy Faces!!!!!  It was easy to create and the results were far beyond my expectations!  I will be giving Katie this treatment once a month going forward.  Thank you Giada for sharing your hair secrets with us. This recipe really works!